In the business world people often talk about schmoozing and making sure you are saying the right things to the right people. However did you know that schmoozing actually carries a negative definition? According to Merriam Webster the definition is "to chat in a friendly and persuasive manner especially so as to gain favor, business, or connections". You might be saying that doesn't sound too negative? If you read the words closely you see that you are chatting with someone in a manner that is persuasive to gain favor. This means that the person schmoozing really doesn’t care about the person they are speaking to. All they are caring is that they can be nice enough to the person to convince them to do something for them.
This is a sure sign of selfish leadership. The person is schmoozing just to gain something for themselves. They aren’t really interested in being friendly or helping the other person they are only interested in what that person can do for them.
Selfish leadership is truly poor leadership because it isn’t about the leader it is about the people you are leading. Schmoozing will get you nowhere as a leader because eventually people will realize the game you are playing and will be unwilling to work with you or speak with you.
If you really want to talk to someone and gain something from them be sincere in your dealing with them. Stop feigning empathy and start treating people like people and show them true empathy when you talk to them. If you do this they will more than likely be your friend for life and will want to deal with you from a business perspective.
Stop schmoozing and start caring.
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